When Compliments Backfire....and other stuff

As Ben is getting older, he is always trying new things and surprising me with his knowledge. I've tried to praise Ben more when he does things well so that he won't always look back on his childhood of his mother always saying "no", "don't touch that", or "Why did you do that?".

But there have been times when my compliments or praise has backfired on me. For example:

Praise:The other morning, Ben woke me up to tell me that Breakfast was ready. "Oh" I said, and I went downstairs to find that he had set the table for all of us, along with bowls full of cereal, milk, and spoons. Since there wasn't a mess in sight, I praised him at being so thoughtful and making breakfast for us. He seemed pleased with himself.
Backfired Praise: Ben thought it would be a great idea to make some kind of "snack" as he called it, for Bella. I guess Bella said she wanted Eggs, and so, I came downstairs today to find raw eggs and shells all over my couch and floor and the kids making their own "egg recipe" on plates on my couch. I think my reaction to Ben's "thoughtfulness" for Bella's snack request, wasn't quite what he had expected...that's right...quiet time in their rooms for one hour while mommy cleans up the mess.

Praise:The kids and I were doing some finger painting crafts and the kids were doing such a great job at keeping their areas clean and not getting the paint on their clothes. I think that deserves a compliment.
Backfired Praise: As soon as I am done telling them what good kids they are for being so careful, I turned my back only for a moment to check on the baby. When I returned, Ben had put so much paint on his page and was slamming his hand down on it to make big splashes with paint flying all over my kitchen, floors, tables and of course his clothes. Thanks buddy.

Praise: Bella is obsessed with scissors lately and always wants something to cut. So I gave her some scissors and some paper to keep her quiet while I had some emails to check. She was being so quiet and cutting cute little triangles and seemed pleased with the shapes she was making. Of course, I said she was doing a good job.
Backfired Praise: Again, I turn around to continue my emails, and the next thing I know Bella is holding a toy she cut from my baby swing and then had taken the scissors to my baby bassinet and cut huge holes and slits in it....not fixable...and totally my fault for even giving a 2 year old scissors and then turn my back. Nice.

Trying to keep myself Sane:
With all the new changes happening in the past few weeks, my kids have been a little out of sorts at times. in order to keep them motivated to be on their best behavior and to help me out around the house, we created Goal Charts (which have worked in the past with Ben). So I let the kids pick what item would be their goal (Ben wants a scooter and Bella wants a Princess Costume) and then gave them rules of things that would help them earn money toward their goal. So far so good. I think it defiantly helps me when the kids are always asking for things, but then realize they have to earn it somehow....it saves me from a lot of headaches and arguments at the store. They know if they don't have money to buy it, or it wasn't on their goal chart, they can't have it.



Letting Ben take a picture with my camera...


The first picture I have let anyone take of me since the baby....which I might add that I've lost 25 pounds in 2 weeks!!!....how many people can say that! Don't the mind the hole in my pants...it's proof that I get on my hands and knees to play with my kids. :)


Amelia learning to sleep with a lot more noise than she bargained for: