What happens after the 3rd child....

A friend of mine emailed this to me about how your behavior changes after the 3rd child....I thought it was pretty funny. :)

*Maternity Clothes

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your
OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

*Preparing

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don' t bother because you remember that last time,
breathing didn't' t do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for a n epidural in your eighth month.


*The Layette

1st baby: You pre-wash newborns clothes, color-coordinate them, and
fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and
discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

*Worries

1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick
up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your three year old how to rewind the mechanical swing

*Pacifier

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until
you can go home to wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off
with some juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

*Diapering

1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they
need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to
complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

*Activities

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and
Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

*Going Out

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call
home five times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a
number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she
sees blood.

*At Home

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older
child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

*Swallowing Coins (a favorite)

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to
the hospital and demand x-rays.

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for
the coin to pass.

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!